Saturday, April 11, 2009

It's okay to be scared

It's okay to be scared
which is a good thing
because I am officially scared
I'm also faithful and trusting
but human so the tears almost fell
then I saw this
popping out from under our non blooming azaleas

I just finished paying all of our bills for the month of April
downgrading our services with some of our service providers
and still have to finish our federal and property taxes...but I don't have to do that today so i'm taking a breath
It's a lot to handle
this one income family thing
I'm not scared but I am
I'm constantly praying and my constant prayer has been strength and trust
in fact, that's the mantra I fell asleep to the night before my hub lost his job
I thought it was in reference to the dog drama
turns out it's probably for something more
I do trust...and I guess we're feeling pretty strong
and you know...it is a blessing to have been able to pay for everything and have left over
definitely could have been worse
it's not worth fretting about future financial burden (taxes, dog, etc) since we truly only have today and today is good
so today, my Spirit is bigger than my flesh but my flesh sure is trying...

He is my strength and my salvation whom have I to fear?
And in His secret place I'll hide and pray that I might hear a simple word.
Oh how I would have despaired if You had not come found me there
I can lean against Your throne and find my peace
Find my peace.

And when my enemies draw near I pray that they might find
that I'm protected and secure all tempers He will bind 
with a mighty Word

Oh how I would have despaired if You had not come found me there
I can lean against Your throne and find my peace
I can lean against Your throne and find
Lean against Your throne and find
Lean against Your throne and find my peace

~lyrics by Jennifer Knapp

1 comment:

e's mama said...

okay, i thought that was a photo of a snake you found then i realized you were talking about the blooming lantana (say "lantana" three times and it feels like you're saying Rosanne Roseannadanna from that SNL skit).

Be scared. Be very scared if you have to be. That vessel of scared holds all the power you need (already possess) so scream until it shatters open and pours that power all over the place.

word verification: kingt.

They must feel I'm not a huge threat because I get some really simple, really crappy words lately.